Sweet Disposition

A lot of things have happened since I last wrote. I moved to Utah!

I had a job interview on August 27th, and moved up on the 31st. 

It's been...crazy, hectic, and strangely wonderful, all at the same time. Some people have applauded me for just leaving home like that, and I guess that after a month of job searching and getting absolutely no interviews or anything, I felt like I had to go when the opportunity arose. 

This has been a huge exercise in trusting the Lord, and at first, I thought I was doing pretty well. But on the first day of work and living on my own, I came home feeling a little gloomy.  I was feeling so alone after a stressful day of work, and I started panicking, wondering, "Oh my gosh, what have I done? This is so crazy, what am I doing here? What if this wasn't the right thing to do?"

I will be honest and say it hasn't been easy, but it hasn't been horrible either. I am doing well, even if I am scared sometimes. But after stressful days at work and when loneliness sets in, I have always been comforted. This past week, I have turned to the Lord so often, telling Him about my worries and fears. There is so much to learn at work and I don't feel like I'm very good at it, so I ask for His help that I might grow and be able to handle whatever is given to me. I tell Him that I am in a strange new place and I don't want to be by myself, so He sends me dear friends or loved ones, and that helps me get through another day. He sends me comfort in the little things that I love.

It has been a testament to me that the Lord knows me individually - my thoughts and concerns - and He is listening. He cares about me and though moving to Utah didn't solve all of my problems (and instead gave me different ones), He is leading down a great path. Sometimes I get frustrated that I can't see from the eternal perspective that He has, but it's His way of telling me to me to let go, and to let Him guide the way. Letting go is so so hard, but I remind myself (often) that what I'm feeling and what I'm going through now will not last forever. But in the meantime, all I can do is turn to Him and trust in the plan He has for me.